Waking up is hard to do. Waking up and getting pretty is even harder.

I am currently working as a high school substitute teacher.  As you may know from earlier posts, I’m also undertaking the composition of my Master’s thesis, I’m very involved in my husband’s ministry, and I’ve got another part-time job on the side.  Although nothing I do these days is particularly cumbersome or overwhelming in and of itself (and everything is, in fact, pretty fun), I am undeniably busy and my schedule is kind of all over the place.  Because I’m not guaranteed a subbing job everyday, I frequently go to bed uncertain as to what time I’ll be getting up the next day.  I may not receive any call to sub and not get up until later, or I may receive a call at 5AM and not be able to fall back asleep.  I also may be up late working at my other job (at a coffee shop) and then come home with enough energy to clean my place for an hour, or I may be up late hanging out with the college students that my husband works with.  I might even already know that I have a subbing job the next day, and I may choose to go to sleep early enough or I may be dumb as usual and choose to stay up until 1AM watching I Love Lucy.  Sometimes I stay up until 1AM watching I Love Lucy and get real lucky with a surprise 5AM-er.  Those mornings are just peachy.

Any way you slice it, no week seems to turn out the same as the last, and I allow myself no time to get ready in the mornings.  My sleep is inconsistent, I have the terrible habit of eating salty snacks late at night, it takes me forever to fall asleep no matter the circumstances, and I’m extremely bad at that thing called waking up.  I am one of those alarm-goes-off-six-times-before-getting-up people.  And until I have a baby or land a full-time job, I believe my personal routines will remain somewhat irregular.  I know babies don’t always have strong routines either, but at least their irregular schedule will become my regular schedule.  I know I’ll find a way to squeeze my lazy, inconsistent butt into a full routine somehow once a career or kid puts the pressure on me and I’m forced to conform, but for now, I continue to float along as I can.  I’ve gotten pretty good at laying things out for the morning before I go to bed, because these days I either already have a sub job lined up for the next day or I may very well get one from the automated subbing call system at dawn’s crack.

So, what does a makeup routine look like with this kind of schedule?  Well, there isn’t really a routine.  I don’t wake up every morning and stand in front of the mirror and put on makeup.  Somehow, my current bathroom space just isn’t conducive to a refreshing, early morning makeup application.  I really need a zen-like environment when I go for the whole schtick, and I don’t have that set-up yet.  And like I said … I’m pretty bad at getting my butt out of bed in the first place.  Like, there have been days where I’ve given myself maybe five minutes to transform from something looking like a “Tazmanian devil” to “acceptable civilian” status, and then jam out the door and on to the freeway.  So, some days I go teach without a single stitch of makeup on, not a lick, without even getting to groom my eyebrows.  Other days, once I’ve arrived at the school, I somehow manage to accrue the time and energy to get on a full face before the kids come in the classroom, but I have to pack my goods first before taking off for the school.  So, what do I pack when I’ve got thirty seconds to grab whatever I can to cover all the bases?

I skip the face makeup because, I don’t know, I just don’t need it everyday.  My skin doesn’t need it, and I mean that in the sense that it’s not good for it.  It’s one less thing I have to take with me too (and powder can get messy) and I can consequently leave behind my biggest makeup brush as well.  I do throw in moisturizer with SPF 15 and an eye cream that de-puffs and helps clear up dark circles.  I can usually get that all on during the car ride to school, at red lights.  I use NARS bronzer in Laguna everyday to warm up my face a little (with a travel kabuki brush), and I use a NARS cream blush in Lokoum on the apples of my cheeks.  No brush necessary for cream blush … just fingers!  I’ll pat on a little undereye concealer after my eye cream dries (before touching the cream blush, of course), and then comes the part that takes the longest- as many coats of mascara as I can get on before the bell rings.  I sometimes pack three different kinds of mascara and I put them all on in multiple coats.  It’s an issue I have, and no, I’m not dealing with it.  And here’s the final touch that only happens if I’ve arrived early enough and have gone over all the lesson plans in advance- I take out my angled eyeliner brush and my Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Gel Eyeliner in Black Ink that I’ve packed, and I draw a slow, careful line just across each of my top lids.  Lightly sketch in the gaps in my eyebrows with an eyebrow pencil, put on some Burt’s Bees beeswax lip balm (although that’s usually what I do first before even brushing my teeth at home), and I’m done.  I don’t bother with lip gloss because once it’s worn off I forget to ever reapply it, and before I step out the door I’ll maybe do two spritzes of a light perfume but never any more than that.  I’ll throw in a couple Almay Makeup Eraser Sticks too for undereye smudges that occur throughout the day (because you know how those high school kids make me cry).

Anything more than this is too ambitious.  And I hate rushing a makeup job anyhow.  This whole routine, without getting any steps done in the car, takes me about seven minutes while seated calmly at a desk.  Sometimes if I can just manage to get the bronzer, blush, concealer, and eyebrows taken care of, I’m satisfied without the mascara or eyeliner.  The point is to just look awake.  And with some calls coming in at 5AM, that’s as much as I’m going to ask of myself at this point.  xo, MR

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