Category Archives: the Review stuff.

the Makeup stuff., the Me stuff., the Review stuff.

And in other top priority international news … mascara.

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I can’t speak about mascara without first stating that I use three different kinds every time I apply.  Every. Time.  It probably takes me a solid five minutes or more to do mascara beginning with bare lashes, and it is by far the most exciting part of my makeup shenanigans.  You know how it is … you get the whole routine going on and then the mascara is the beautiful bow on the package to top it all off and pull it all together.  It adds that final one-two-punch of drama and seals the deal, and everyone seems to like it in a different way.  I get really mad when I see girls with what I don’t perceive to be enough mascara, or it’s clumpy, or whatever.  But what’s funny is that they probably do it that way everyday, and they probably think my own mascara job sucks.

But allow me to offer up one assertive opinion on the subject- I don’t really get people who can use just one kind of mascara.  I mean, one kind?  Do you eat just one kind of cheese, too?  Or do you watch just one movie you like on repeat and never watch any others?  You may argue that you’ve found your eternal favorite that you’re loyal to, but when there are so many kinds of mascara to choose from, you know there’s got to be even more out there that you’d enjoy and use just as much as your beloved one, perhaps along with it.  Maybelline New York probably cranks out about three new kinds of mascara every year alone (with 50% of them being useless, in my opinion … Great Lash can suck it), and I’d say every other makeup brand puts out perhaps at least one new kind of mascara per year, including drugstore and luxury brands.  The options really are veering on endless.  I mean, come on … they make ones that vibrate now, for crap’s sake.

Mascara’s also a particular pleasure of mine because it’s the one cosmetic item that I truly believe can deliver quality performance for under ten bucks.  Go ahead and buy the thirty-dollar kind, but I believe that the stuff you find at the drugstore is just as capable when it comes to mascara.  DiorShow?  Eh, not worth all the hype (and it’s got perfume in it … yuck and for why?).  BeneFit Bad Gal?  I’ve had way better.  I’m usually one to push for spending the extra bucks when it comes to makeup, but mascara is my true exception.

So, after trying countless kinds of mascara, I’ve finally found three kinds that I can truly place my faith in (or at least, when they’re all used together).  I usually find myself looking for volumizing formulas because my lashes aren’t particularly dense, and CoverGirl’s LashBlast Fusion has been a staple of mine for probably two years or so now.  That stuff is great.  If I had to use just one kind, I’d choose this.  However, I don’t apply this kind first.  I first apply just a couple coats of Revlons‘ Grow Luscious by Fabulash to lengthen my lashes and build a tacky base.  Next, I apply some of BeneFit’s They’re Real by wriggling the rubber brush at the base of my lashes a few times.  This creates the illusion of fullness, and because it’s an especially wet, inky formula it makes the lashes look much darker and dense, and it builds well on the tackiness of the Revlon.  A lot of formulas can suffice for this part of my process- L’Oreal’s Voluminous Carbon Black works well, too.  After this, I finally begin applying as many coats of LashBlast Fusion as I want until I’m satisfied.  This creates volume and separation, and because it’s another tacky formula it can just keep building and building.  Oh, and every kind I buy is in the blackest shade I can get, but I have heard that brown-black photographs better and that brown mascara on the bottom lashes looks much more natural.  And speaking of, I don’t do mascara on the bottom lashes.  I never have.  Things just start looking a little too spidery-smudgey for me when it’s on the bottom.  That green tube in the picture, by the way, is the newest mascara from CoverGirl called Clump Crusher.  Seriously.  But I’ve got to admit, I tried it just this morning for the first time and it’s ahhhhhhhh-mazing.  Might be the beginnings of a new favorite.

I’ve honestly got I-don’t-know-how-many kinds of this stuff in my current possession, but the item will be a forever staple of mine and so I’ve got no reason to stop trying all of them!  Cheers to spider-eyes!  xo, MR

the Makeup stuff., the Me stuff., the Review stuff., the Skin stuff.

Sometimes I’m very unhelpful.

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I recently posted a status on Facebook asking for suggestions on posts for this blog.  Apparently I was have an uninspired moment and felt the need to open up the floodgates, which is odd considering that I always seem to have ideas for posts.  I guess my point though was to see what others were interested in reading about, because sometimes what I’m interested in may not always be … interesting to other people.

I received many more responses than I’d anticipated.  Folks asking about product reviews, “best” lists of what to use for this kind of skin type, tone, and the like, and a few other unique ideas.  What’s funny is how being approached with certain questions makes you come to realize that there are territories of a subject you love that you really haven’t explored.  There are parts of the beauty realm that I really don’t know much about.  Some of these particularities haven’t been explored because I haven’t been interested, and others remain relatively untouched because I just know exactly how I feel about them and haven’t bothered beyond that.  Anyhow, the little flurry of suggestions I received has prompted me to address a couple of them, more or less, with an unknowing or uncertain shrug of the shoulders.  Or, perhaps I will address the topic suggested, but my response will probably be very, very unhelpful.  Cheers to unhelpful-ness!

The cosmetic modification of our bodies–  I am a bad person to talk to about this.  Why?  Because in so far as it has applied to myself, I have been almost wholly against the cosmetic, physical modification of our bodies as they are.  I am so to an almost extreme, sometimes strange degree.  One might say, “Oh, but you’re ok with the use of retinol creams to combat wrinkles?  Isn’t that a form of modification?”  And I would say, “Ehhhh…”.  Yeah, just “Ehhh …”.  It’s one of those things that’s hard to explain why I feel the way I feel, but I can definitely tell you that I do feel a certain way about it.  Wrinkle creams I’m fine with, but putting out cash for the immediate and irreversible alteration of one’s physical appearance (read: breast augmentation, plastic procedures on the body for purely cosmetic reasons, etc) doesn’t sit well with me at all.  Ever.  And then again, one may say, “Well, coloring your hair is an immediate and irreversible alteration of one’s physical appearance, and you do that”.  And again, I say, “Ehhhh … “.  I just can’t easily explain my feelings on this one; it seems to hinge on the reasoning behind the choice for modification, as well as the severity of the modification.  Sometimes I have weird feelings on body modification in smaller, more trivial forms (or “add-ons” as I call them), too.  An example of this would be how I’ve never considered wearing hair extensions.  I just don’t like the idea of wearing hair that’s not my real hair.  I don’t mind at all when I see others wearing them however (and I’ve got a good lot of friends that do, and they always look good), but for myself, it’s just never been one of the cards on the table.  I don’t know, I think I’ve got some kind of odd purist obsession going on.  I’ll never do acrylic nails, color contacts freak me out, and it took me some time to be okay with the idea of … false lashes *gasp* (I’m now all about those for your wedding, though).  All in all, it’s tough to articulate, and I expect no one to agree with me on the little things.  But in the more severe things like surgery, there’s no question as to where I stand.  And to be honest, I’m not yet exactly sure how I feel about wrinkles creams anyhow … the ingredient typically involved in such products can be a little harsh and out of sync with … I don’t know … nature?  We’ll see on that one, though.

Speaking of wrinkle creams … – I know nothing.  Because I haven’t tried any yet.  I know the magical ingredients to look for are things like retinol or retinoids, rhamnose, various plant extracts from green tea or shitake mushrooms, and other random stuff that Allure writes about in literally every issue.  At this point, I’d simply suggest to continue using natural moisturizer every day with SPF (the greenest you can find for your budget), moisturize at night with a rich, natural night cream after removing makeup, and the big not-so-secret secrets: drink … green … tea … and … DO … NOT … SMOKE.

And speaking of SPF … – Again, I’m not much help.  I just haven’t tried many kinds.  I will say that it’s definitely the number one rule when taking care of your skin.  From birth until death, use it every day.  And I’ll continue to sound like the broken record that I am and advise that you find the most natural kind you can for your skin and within your budget.  That’s really the only advice I have, though.  I’m willing to deal with a somewhat greasy texture if it’s natural and protects from the sun.  Additionally, I always use a daily moisturizer that has SPF in it so that I can knock out two steps in one.  I have loved the Desert Essence Organics line for their facial products for years (at Sprout’s or Whole Foods), and I’ll continue to push for them.  A non-natural kind of facial sunscreen that gets plenty of great reviews is LaRoche-Posay.  Have I used it, though?  Nope.

Minimizing pores– Unfortunately, you can’t actually make your pores shrink, but one particular product works wonders in lending a hand at minimizing their appearance: primer.  The kind that you put on under your makeup, and after your moisturizer, for the purpose of giving your makeup some serious hold and minimizing the appearance of pores and fine lines.  For a higher budget, I like BeneFit The POREfessional, and for a lower budget I like Revlon PhotoReady Perfecting Primer.  I use the former on brides, and it has a great mattifying effect.  I highly recommend it.

Biotin and hair growth supplements- I tried taking biotin for a couple months a few years back.  I saw absolutely no difference, but I do recall getting strange headaches (which, I’m sure, had no relationship with the biotin but it was a little strange nonetheless; I remember hoping that the headaches were from my hair growing so fast out of my head).  I think my nails grew faster, though!  But basically, I couldn’t tell you.  I feel that supplements like biotin vary in effectiveness from person to person.  My thing is, you can’t really grow more hair.  You only have so many hair follicles on your head and you can’t create more.  You can strengthen each strand though, which is wear I think good diet and supplements can help.  I hear a lot of good buzz about Viviscal, a supplement meant to support skin and hair strength and health.  I’d look into that.  I love leaving oils on my hair for an hour or so before washing too, like jojoba and vitamin E oils.  And honestly, good diet can’t be stressed enough.  When I’m putting junk into my body (which I’m pro at), my hair kind of turns into junk.  And my skin, too.  I don’t necessarily get break-outs or lose hair so to speak, but my skin and hair turn dull.  Look into stocking up on things like kefir, salmon, quinoa, kale and green juices in general, strawberries, acai juice when you can get a hold of it, and lobster is the beauty treatment of seafoods.

Waterproof mascara– I don’t use it.  Sorry.  I’ve got a tube that I use on brides because I know it’s standard, but I’ve actually refrained from using it on myself.  I don’t like how difficult it is to remove, and I haven’t ever found a kind that’s entirely waterproof.  And let me tell you, when you get waterproof mascara in your eyes … it … hurts.  So what do I recommend?  Wear your normal mascara, and bring some Almay Oil-free Makeup Eraser Sticks with you to clean up the mess when you turn into one yourself.

So there you have it.  Sometimes I’m helpful, and sometimes I’m not.  But I’ll continue to welcome the questions as long as an occasional unhelpful answer is welcome too. xo, MR

the Makeup stuff., the Review stuff.

Lipstickyyyyy.

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So, picking favorites isn’t easy.  I get all crazy when magazines come out with their “Best in Beauty” issues each year and they list off what they’ve determined to be the best body lotion, best facial exfoliant, best taupe eyeshadow, best bright eyeshadow, best sexy fragrance (as compared to fruity, among others), and so on and so forth.  I guess what makes me go all batty when I read such things is the horrible itch that develops in my brain that says I need … to buy … all of it … now.  Seriously.  I will breach all of my own contracts I’ve made with myself about “Natural only!” and absolutely no parabens or mineral oil in my body products if Allure tells me that that big bottle of deliciously buttermilk-y thick-as-batter body cream that smells like Paula Deen’s house filled with cinnamon and sugar and the laughter of ten thousand happy children (for only $10!!) is uhhhhh-mazing, despite the 100% petrochemically-derived ingredients.  Give it to me.

It takes a lot of effort for me to sort out what my own favorite products really, really are. It’s difficult to sort through all the voices, suggestions, images, and reviews.  But we can start small.  We can start with … lipstick.

Now, I can really hang with all kinds of lip color.  This is only referring to lipstick, a kind of lip color that I probably wear the least.  I picked my favorites of four shades- red, pink, beige/nude, and dark.

MAC Lipstick in Russian Red–  I know their Ruby Woo shade is equally as popular, but it’s just too dry for me.  This gem of a red can be worn everyday with a decent amount of comfort, and it’s flattering on all skintones.  The “flattering” part is kind of big for me too, because I have this weird quirk of getting especially irritated at seeing the wrong shade of red on a girl.

CoverGirl LipPerfection Lipstick in Spellbound–  This is one hot shade of pink, and I love it paired with just black topliner and mascara.  It may seem scary in the tube, but just think of it as a happier alternative to red.  I like to wear it in the fall when it’s less expected, and it’s stunning against an all-black ensemble.

Yves Saint Laurent Volupte’ Sheer Candy in Lush Coconut–  I still haven’t nailed the beige/nude category to satisfaction. I feel that every kind I try is still just a little too pink, and I’m looking for that J.Lo beige that looks incredible on tan and olive skin.  For now, this one is sheer (more like a gloss stick) and smells like mango.  I wear it when I just want to add a little something to my lips besides balm.

L’Oreal Colour Riche Lipstick in Spice–  This stuff is just so … vampy.  I’ve been so inspired by Camilla Belle’s rich, daring lip color at the MET Gala this past year and this seems to get me pretty darn close to the look.  I like a slightly Twenties look with a dark lip, kind of costume-y.  And there’s no better season for color like this than autumn.

So tell me … any favorites of your own?  Brands you swear by?  Recommendations for me?  xo, MR

the Magazine stuff., the Makeup stuff., the Review stuff.

My eyelids look exactly like Kate’s eyelids.

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Ever see red carpet makeup, or makeup in a movie, or makeup on a magazine cover and you think, “Hmm, I’ll bet I could do that”? And do you ever get even more excited when you’re able to find out what products were used on the look? That’s like striking gold for me. A lot of times websites or magazines will simply suggest items that they claim will “recreate” the look, but they won’t list the exact products. This always left me feeling a little cheated. I mean, come on! If it’s good enough for fill–in-the-blank-celebrity-name, it’s good enough for me … right? So anyhow, when I’m able to dig up the exact products used for whatever look it is that I’m loving, I know I’m that much closer to really looking like Jennifer Aniston. Uh huh.

Just kidding. I don’t really want to look like Jennifer Aniston.

But I did find myself quite enamored with this beautiful shot of Kate Beckinsale as the August cover girl of Allure magazine. She’s been on the cover for this magazine more than a couple times, but hey, why not?

Allure always features a page in every issue that gives the details on their cover shoot, including the makeup that was used. Now, to be honest, I’m still not sure if the products referenced are the real goods used for the shoot. They may still have me fooled after almost ten years of reading this magazine (yes, ten). But I decided to make a run down to my drugstore and try out the eyeshadow they referenced because it looked easy, gorgeous and it was cheap. And I try not to buy drugstore makeup too frequently, however tempting it may be. The suspect- L’Oreal 24HR. Infallible eyeshadow in “Bottomless Java”.

We’ve all got a million brown eyeshadows (especially if you have brown eyes like me), but I’d really recommend this one for your “best bargain” category no matter what eye color you’ve got. The color is incredibly rich without too much fall-out, it builds well, and is highly pigmented. While it’s decidedly neutral (I mean, it is brown), a couple layers of the stuff make for quite the smoky eye.

While I don’t quite look like Kate Beckinsale post-shadow application, I’d say it’s a pretty good match to the shade observed on her cover look. Hopefully this means Allure really is giving their most accurate information and we can all have Kate’s eyelids together. xo, MR

the Hair stuff., the Magazine stuff., the Review stuff.

It … could … work!

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So, you know how sometimes you’ll be looking at some ‘How To’ tutorial article in a magazine that shows you (in three easy steps!!) how to blow out your own hair into goddess locks? Seriously, it’s so easy, right? And then they’ll recommend, like, one miracle product that will do just the trick to get you from Point A to Point Z. Seriously, just a little dab of Moco de Gorila and BAM- your hair be lookin’ like this.

I think we’ve all felt a little mislead at some point by tutorial articles. The work it truly takes to achieve that kind of red carpet hair can have a team of stylists clocking in literal hours on one head of hair. However, every once in a while one little feature is found to be so helpful and accurate, like a precious golden nugget.

Enter this ever-so-tiny feature in the July 2012 issue of People StyleWatch. My recent haircut had rendered me somewhat anxious as to how to style it in it’s more natural state (read: wavy/curly). This little gem recommended just a couple cheaply-priced products and the fabulous, super-convenient suggestion of air-drying your hair overnight! I chose to purchase the Herbal Essences Tousle Me Softly spray gel because I’d never tried a spray-gel before, and the novelty only cost me five bucks. I followed Strahan’s instructions, covered my hair in heat-protectant spray the next day, misted with the spray gel, and then used my 1-inch iron to create waves in different directions. I had good feelings about this one. It could work!!

Voila! I’d say it was a success! You’ve gotta love successful little tips in a world full of useless beauty information. The spray gel has a nice scent, but for how much I touch my hair I find that I have to use quite a bit for the waves to really hold strong. No harm in that, though. Cheers! xo, MR

the Makeup stuff., the Review stuff.

Drugstore vs. Department Store: Undereye Concealers

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Under-eye concealer can be tricky. Even at the spring chicken age of twenty or so, our eyes are usually the first place to show signs of any aging and are almost always the first place to show signs of fatigue. Makeup artists have used various types of concealer in the under-eye area to conceal dark circles and even out the skin tone around the eye. The overall effect is one of being more awake and more … um … spring chicken-ish. However, pick the wrong shade and you possibly wind up looking something like this. Or choose an iffy formula and it winds up creasing into your tiny wrinkles found in your lower eyelid. And I just hate relying on heavy-duty concealer under there for everyday, because it literally looks like you’ve painted cake batter on your lower lids.

So anyhow, pictured above are two versions of the aforementioned product. One costs about four times as much as the other (Oh please, do guess!), and one has not worked as well for me as the other. Now, perhaps I just didn’t land on the right shade, but I have to say that the famed Yves Saint Laurent Touche’ Eclat has wound up as somewhat of a disappointment. It just wasn’t the miracle that it was prophesied to be by blogger after blogger, magazine after magazine. The brush applicator it uses is incredibly soft, but I actually prefer applying concealer with my finger because the warmth of my skin seems to do a much better job at blending as opposed to a brush. Oh well. I’ve been using that L’Oreal True Match stuff for years and I continue to prefer it over other formulas for everyday use. I’ve found it more brightening and more creamy in texture.

Hey, every once in a while the drugstore really pulls through. xo, MR

the Fragrance stuff., the Me stuff., the Review stuff., the Skin stuff.

I smell so good all the time. And no, I’m not wearing ‘Justin Bieber’s Girlfriend’.

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I have used a lot of fragrances in my lifetime. Those folks that have their “signature scent” and can stick to just one fragrance … yeah, I don’t get them. I wish I could do that, but I’m a smell-aholic. Or a smell-ophrenic. Or whatever.

I remember Roxy’s Hula being the scent of ‘hot female’ in middle school. Seriously, girl walks by on campus and you smell the Hula on her … you got jealous. The guys thought she was a babe and she’d probably blazed passed all us other girls in the puberty department. In other words, she was a true woman, tube top and all. I tried wearing Hula in middle school … it just didn’t work the same. I just couldn’t understand why no one wanted me as I stood there covered in my butterfly clips and wearing my Osh-Kosh holdovers from fourth grade (yes, things fit me for a very long time) on the black-top. As I picked my nose.

And then came high school, and I don’t quite remember what scents I wore then because all I can remember as far as the olfactory sensations go is a haze of fruit. That’s when you discovered Bath and Body Works and boy, did we all go to town. We were all trying to discover our inner sexiness, and apparently ‘sexy’ in high school smells like being shoved head-first into a can of fruit cocktail laced with sugar, marinaded in sugar, and paired with … hmm, brown sugar and Fruit Loops? Heck, my senior year I even started wearing a perfume called Pink Sugar. Man, that was the stuff. That’s the first scent I remember wearing and feeling like it was mine. I wore it strictly throughout my senior year, and was thus able to associate it with all the memories that came with those days. Even when I get a whiff of that stuff these days, Aquolina Pink Sugar is a potent memory-trigger.

Throughout college and up until today, I’ve had a hard time nailing down a favorite fragrance. I can’t pick just one. If I go to Sephora, I smell twenty and I like them all. I like the weird ones, the overly-saccharine ones, the musky, masculine ones, and the lighter, clean ones. I’m just as happy to smell like a forest as I am to smell like a Funfetti cake. And so, I’ve acquired a few over the years.

The Givenchy one (pronounced zhe-von-SHEE, to the best of my description) on the right is one I fell for as a result of … shocker … advertising. Uma Thurman was the model used for the Ange ou Demon Le Secret ads, and I smelled it in a magazine and couldn’t get over it. I’d never appreciated a scent that was more founded in tea notes rather than fruit notes, as this one is. I think of a blush wine mixed with white tea; it’s unique. The gold bottle, Gucci Guilty, I can’t say I really love. It’s a floral-oriental but it’s a bit too “rich, daring, powerful woman’ for me … and I am a poor, cautious, hesitant woman.

The D&G L’Imperatrice is a friend-favorite. It’s inspired some purchasing among my acquaintances (more on that in a minute), and I will say that it is pretty delicious. It’s lighter because it’s an eau de toilette (not an eau de parfum), but it still has plenty of fruity notes such as watermelon and kiwi accord. Giorgio Armani Acqua di Gioia is my newest, and it reminds me of the water. It’s a scent that makes me fantasize about places I’ve never been, places that are misty, cool, and clean. Rather than the beach, which one may usually think of with such a zesty fragrance, I think of the fjords in Norway. No joke. Calgon take me away!!!!!!

And here, we find the fragrances I carry with me when I’m teaching at high schools. Victoria’s Secret Bombshell keeps me feeling like a sophisticated woman in an arena so devastatingly dominated by Justin Bieber Someday, and Bath and Body Works’ Secret Wonderland so I can fit in with the sixteen-year-olds just a little bit (and it makes me think of Christmas!).

And so, that wraps up the current smelling sauces I’m drenching myself in these days. I should warn you though … I don’t do well with those that wear the same fragrance as myself (which, unfortunately, could eliminate perhaps five of your options at a time). Scent is one of the heaviest identifying factors that I associate with a person, and having anyone else smell like me is a huge pet-peeve of mine. I have a friend who wore Thierry Mugler’s Angel for years, and I refuse to wear it despite the fact that I could funnel that stuff straight down into my nostrils (because it smells that good). Why? Because that’s her scent. I want you to like how I smell, but I don’t want you to buy it. And sure, I may have used five scents within the past year, but, well, that’s just too bad for you. You can’t smell like me. My dad bought my mom my same fragrance one year for Christmas because he’d liked it so much on me. Just … no.

the Magazine stuff., the Me stuff., the Review stuff.

The junk food of fashion magazines … and I’ve been eating it forever.

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I have kept every single issue of People StyleWatch magazine since December of 2006 . I don’t know why I’ve done this, but I have.

This was the first magazine that I gravitated towards when I started taking style seriously. I can’t say I was taking fashion seriously yet, because I didn’t really care about designers, pushing the boundaries of fashion aesthetics, and craftsmanship (this all came later), but I did begin to truly care about style.

This magazine afforded me the opportunity to look at the clothing that celebrities were wearing and to then try and recreate the look for myself. It was certainly a cheaters way to build my own taste, but there’s no need for shame. I had no clue who I was in terms of style six years ago. I had to start somewhere, and you may as well start by finding out that you love how Jessica Biel dresses and then attempting to replicate her looks. It’s a way to initiate and to shop with intention, to begin looking for specific pieces on your shopping trips as opposed to just mindlessly heading for the mall and hoping you run into some random garment that you like. From that point I began to branch off. I began to choose pieces that I felt Jessica Biel may perhaps wear, but that I would definitely wear. And from that point, things have just continued to evolve. I can tell you with all certainty that People StyleWatch magazine changed my life. It may sound cheesy, but it is, without a doubt, true.

Even today, I continue to purchase every issue of this magazine. Admittedly, it’s kind of the junk food of fashion publications, but I don’t care. It’s fun. And it sure does balance out my hefty Harper’s Bazaar reading. The September issue will be on stands at Wal-Mart this Wednesday! Woop! xo, MR

the Magazine stuff., the Review stuff.

Why I’m giving up on this magazine, and why you probably didn’t like it in the first place.

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While this blog remains dedicated to beauty, one thing you should know about the, um, blogger of this blog is that she is obsessed with fashion publications. I refuse to simply say ‘magazines’ because I don’t want you thinking Cosmopolitan or UsWeekly. I want you thinking Elle, InStyle, Marie Claire, Harper’s Bazaar, and People StyleWatch (can’t say I’m a regular Vogue-er yet … it’s still just a leeeeetle too highbrow for me). So let’s get this straight- when I say that I like ‘magazines’, I specifically want you thinking of fashion publications, and the easiest way for me to communicate that is to, well, say it just like that.

Bottom line: I am a fashion publication-aholic and I will be writing various posts about said fashion publications because I am a fashion publication-aholic. They may be related to my greater topic of beauty, but they may not be. Nevertheless, I believe you will find them highly useful. Deal? Deal.

So anyhow, I also must admit I have a thing for reviewing stuff. What do I mean? I mean I’ve got a TripAdvisor account, Yelp account, and Amazon account, and I use them all to write pointlessly extensive reviews of places and products. I enjoy it. It’s a thing.

Here’s where it all comes together- my latest adventure in online-reviewing has consisted of baring my soul regarding the fashion publication known as Lucky.

Now, I’ve been a very faithful reader/subscriber of this magazine for three to four years. It’s been fun and has inspired many unnecessary purchases. However, I’ve recently decided that I’ll be quittin’ ole’ Lucky once my subscription runs out this December, and I feel I’m quite justified in doing so. Care to know why? Well, just help yourself to reading my full Amazon review I’ve posted here entitled “It’s time I put ole’ Lucky out to pasture. Let me tell you why.” ……

‘LUCKY’ IS IN NEED OF A SANDWICH …… in other words, it’s getting thinner and thinner and isn’t looking too healthy these days. In fact, it’s been kind of a junky for a while now.

I keep up with magazine and publication news, and for a couple years or so ‘Lucky’ has been the sadder part of the news. Its numbers have been going down, and this current September 2012 issue is one of the thinnest September issues I’ve seen in a really long time. This isn’t for nothing, though- I’ve subscribed for about four years and I’ve got to say, ‘Lucky’ is really no longer worth subscribing to. Come December, I think I’m done.

Ever since they switched up their editor-in-chief (used to be Kim France), things just haven’t been as strong for the magazine. Don’t get me wrong- I’m a die-hard, so-badly-wish-I-lived-in-NYC trendy hipster fashion slave. I love it all and I read almost all fashion publications on a monthly basis. But I really feel like the editors at ‘Lucky’ think its readers are robotic numbskulls. It’s become almost nothing more than a glorified catalog, and there’s barely any meaty content now. I understand that instant gratification is the name of the game these days in fashion publications, and that it’s kind of a genius strategy to tell your readers exactly what to buy (with the item styled in a cute editorial shoot on the same page!). ‘People StyleWatch’ employs a similar technique. But I feel ‘Lucky’ has pigeonholed itself into catering to one specific kind of reader- someone who WORKS IN FASHION, LIKE THEMSELVES.

It’s like the folks at ‘Lucky’ are working to create a publication simply for people EXACTLY like themselves! Same looks, same sense of taste and style, SAME PAYCHECK, same type of job, same type of living conditions (hip, urban), etc. Any time they do a feature on a ‘Lucky girl’ or some ‘real person’, they always seem to work in fashion, advertising, or are the owner of some fabulous salon. Oh, or perhaps they’re a recording artist showing this year at Coachella, or they’re the star of a film out this month. They always seem to live either in New York or Los Angeles. There are no teachers, no office workers, no folks from the mid-West, no one that just knows how to shop and dress damn well and WITHOUT the million-dollar budget or high-profile career. And AGAIN, don’t get me wrong- I am a fashion fanatic. However, my budget is, well, budget-ish. I can’t identify with the ‘Lucky’ reader anymore because she doesn’t seem to have a budget and she doesn’t seem to be able to say “No” to advertising. I’m sure I could still subscribe to ‘Lucky’ for another year and suck the juice out of it, but I am just at the point where I feel insulted doing so. EVERY SINGLE PAGE is listed with attractively-styled items and their given prices, along with a sometimes-ludicrous description of each. Example- “Bonjour, Cleveland! Rose-gold jeans feel so French rocker.” I mean, ok. I get it, I like to write too. But you just feel like they’re trying SO HARD to convince you to just BUY. Not to be inspired, but to buy. And they will shamelessly pitch that item to you, no matter what the price tag may be (frequently upwards of $500 … BUT YOU’LL LOVE IT FOREVER!!!).

While some may argue that ‘Lucky’ is trying to provide fashion inspiration, let’s face it- the point of ‘Lucky’ is to inspire SPENDING, and almost nothing more. Each month, I at least find myself at the drugstore buying some new body wash they recommend in each new issue, and I just don’t need that right now. I understand that ‘People StyleWatch’ has the same thing going but I feel they do a much better job of catering to lesser incomes and helping you restyle your own wardrobe. They have their niche with their specific focus on celebrities, and everyone can name a celebrity whose style they like. ‘Lucky’ just leaves you feeling overwhelmed and as if you need to be one of the “cool girls” in order to relate. Your evidence of this problem lies in the fact that their issues have been growing increasingly thinner; they’re losing readers and they’re losing ad pages.

If you’re not Olivia Palermo, pick something else to subscribe to rather than ‘Lucky’. You’ll enjoy it more in the long-run.

p.s. I do like their “City Guide” feature, with a shopping guide to a different major city each month. I tear all those out and keep ’em. Oh, and an extra star for Jean Godfrey-June as their beauty editor. “