Category Archives: the Makeup stuff.

the Makeup stuff.

Fifty shades of NO.

, , , , , 1 Comment

Image

So, this is Andrea Riseborough.  You may know Andrea as the British film and television actress from movies like W.E. and Never Let Me Go.  You may not know Andrea as a face full of pancake batter, covered in flour, and rolled in sparkly powdered sugar as she’s pictured here.  Seriously, who did this to her.  I’m not even putting a question mark at the end of that statement- WHO DID THIS TO HER.  PERIOD.  What makeup artist got hongray and decided they wanted waffles and then proceeded to paint waffle batter on Andrea’s face?  Were they trying to bake her?  Did they want to stick her face in an oven and make pan rustico? Not fair for Andrea.  Not fair.  Nobody deserves to walk a red carpet looking like a wad of uncooked sweaty dough in the face.

The shade of foundation, IN CASE YOU’RE WONDERING, is a little light.  But what’s worse than that is that someone made the genius decision to apply a shimmery finish powder on her face after already turning her into the pretty child of Michael Jackson.  Now she looks white and sweaty.  BUT THEN, to top it off, they’ve added a nice rubicund glow to her cheeks that has made her now look, white, sweaty, and as if she’s just finished running a 20K.  I’m pretty sure this is how I look when I’ve got a case of the heavin’ upchucks.  Girl is lookin’ all flu season kinds of sexy!  Let this be a warning to us all- natural light, I say.  Do. Your. Makeup. In. Natural. Light. xo, MR

the Makeup stuff., the Me stuff.

When in Rome, do as the French do. Or whatever.

, , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

photo (96)So, I’ve been trying this new thing lately.  I’ve been wearing just red lipstick.  No no, just red lipstick.  I’ll put on my moisturizer, comb my eyebrows if I have a moment (and lightly even them out with a pencil if even more time), and then choose one of my reds and get to paintin’.  And then I’ll leave.  No concealer anywhere, no blush, no mascara, nothing beyond the red lip.  Today was one of these days, and I employed NARS Dragon Girl.  It’s brighter than the more scarlet Cruella, but I’ll take either one.

Considering my inability to wake up in a timely manner, I often find myself lacking the time to put on any sort of makeup before I leave the house for work.  I’ve discussed this before.  But it bums me out.  For as much of a crazy hoarder lady as I am when it comes to makeup, I have to say that I probably wear it just three out of seven days during the week.  It’s depressing too, because putting on makeup has the capabilities of relaxing and centering me, and I have to miss out on that creative moment just for myself.  But part of what prevents me from doing my makeup quickly is this belief that when I do it, I have to do a full routine.  And it’s not that a full routine necessarily takes a ton of time once I get going, but it’s just that I take about as long as an Ent to make a decision when it comes to makeup.  Seriously.  I’ll lay all of my makeup out in front of me and then just stare at it for a few minutes before I pick anything up.

What’s great about the red lip, however, is that it needs nothing else.  It really doesn’t.  No “full routine” is necessary.  I recently read an interview of makeup artist phenom Laura Mercier, and she talked about how you can find women all over her home country of France who wear absolutely no makeup everyday except for red lipstick.  Their hair is perhaps casually pulled back, their skin is bare, but their lips are painted vibrant red.  And somehow the touch of unabashedly glamorous red manages to pull your whole look together.  It looks intentional, and yet it still appears like you didn’t try too hard.  Like you just ascend to Audrey Hepburn levels of sophistication on a regular basis, even if you’re just in a sweater and jeans.

I do admit that I love the French beauty aesthetic a lot more than our American perspective on it.  The French idea of beauty tends to revolve a lot more around the natural and the subtle.  There’s a sense of restraint within French women when it comes to things like makeup and hair, and yet they’ll never be accused of not taking the subject seriously (but not in an obsessive manner like we tend to be used to … think more reverence than obsession).  Conversely, American beauty has few subtleties to it by comparison.  The idealized perception of Barbie and women like those we see in the Miss America pageant, the outlandish plastic surgery procedures we’ll undergo just to feel like a “hotter” version of ourselves, all the gloss, shadow, and false lashes we use, and the heavy face makeup that really doesn’t do a thing for your face other than make you look like the child of RuPaul … seriously, what we tend to perceive as light, day-time makeup here will fly as an over-done full face of crepe batter in France.

It isn’t that French women don’t try; it’s just that there’s a difference between, say, trying to look like a Victoria’s Secret model every day from the time you’re twenty until you’re fifty, as opposed to just simply trying to age gracefully when it needs to happen.  I’d like to think that what I’m doing (and not doing) to my skin today is actually an investment that will pay off when I’m sixty.  And finally, the most interesting part of French beauty culture to me is the fact that there’s zero emphasis on working out.  They take their time with food, eat a very balanced diet, and do plenty of walking, but the gym fanatic culture we see here in America doesn’t exist in France.  Whether a woman has a J.Lo butt and Gwen Stefani abs isn’t really a concern; it has more to do with a woman’s taste and how she carries herself.

I know all of this may sound like the very height of snobbery, and for that I apologize.  It’s just that getting acquainted with the French idea of beauty over the past couple years has given me the realization that getting ready, or should I say getting pulled together in a sophisticated way, doesn’t have to be as hard as a routine of eye makeup, face makeup, and curled hair.  In fact, sometimes doing just the opposite has a much chicer effect, and this has been nothing short of freeing for me personally.  Because I feel like concealer, bronzer, blush, eyeliner, and mascara are all necessary when I do my makeup, I give up on all of it all together when I don’t have the time.  But not so with the French!  Just grab the rouge and go, and if it can be so with the French, it can be so for moi.  xo, MR

p.s. Oh, have I been to France?  Nope.  But let me just say this- when I get there, DO NOT expect to find me galavanting around like an excited tourist.  I intend to blend in seamlessly, even if it means wearing a paper bag on my head as some kind of fashion-forward “statement” so I can hide from you.  I need to be taken seriously by the people that I so admire, and I’ll be not be outed by you ID-ing me as a ‘Murican!  If there is a ever a time when I need to look like I can cut you with my gaze, it’s when you find me in Paris.  I’ll be wearing the most uncomfortable plantar-fascitis-inducing heels with the most awesome, heavy, bad-for-travelling-but-good-for-looking-like-Catherine-Denueuve coat I can find.  I don’t have time for your comfy sweater-sets and walking shoes and backpacks!  What is that kind of foolery?!  Don’t look at me with your fanny pack in Paris.  DON’T look at me.

the Hair stuff., the Magazine stuff., the Makeup stuff., the Me stuff.

Oh now THIS is the kind of thing I LIVE for!!

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

Oh how thoroughly disappointing the SAG Awards were tonight.  The Golden Globes had been somewhat of a bore for me as well, and so I’d truly been looking forward to tonight’s red carpet with the hopes that someone … anyone … would put on a dress to make my jaw drop.  But alas, my jaw remains fully closed and in fact a little clenched in frustration.  Nights like this kill me.  I mean, yes, it’s great to look all boring kinds of sexy in a column dress so everyone can see that you can work your curves and blah blah blah, but let me tell you- I will continue to throw this at you until someone tops it.  When you, as a celebrity, have access to literally every great designer’s atelier on this planet and each one of those designers would give their right leg to dress you, thou shalt NOT waste my time with another monochromatic mermaid gown on the red carpet.  Grow a pair and actually take advantage of the fashion that’s at your over-privileged, perfectly manicured fingertips.  I mean seriously!  Do I have to rely on mah boo Marion for EVERYTHING?!

And so we’re moving on from this discussion to something else that’s fascinated me lately.  Oh, and how!  So, I purchased the latest issue of Self magazine for the purpose of motivating myself into a more regular gym routine.  I’d initially inserted about a million jokes here when first writing this, but I have to admit this is a completely true desire, void of any irony.  No, I’m not looking to Instagram pictures of my Fergie abs while I frolick around in a bikini at Stagecoach.  But I am looking to take seriously the idea that man cannot live on Cheetos alone, and if one does, a price must be paid in copious amounts of running and veggie consumption.

But I stumbled upon something funny while perusing this latest issue of Self, and it did nothing short of fuel the fires of Mount Doom in my Fergie tummy.

photo (84)

Well, well, well, what have we here?!  The kind of article I live for- the kind that asks what guys really think of the stuff we do with our hair, face, and body, and how we should take such opinions into account when we get ready to bring our ugly selves out of our Hobbit holes and into daylight for presentation!  Excellent!

So, I guess the deal with these is that you’ve got some panel of highly qualified dudes (guys that know lots about the wiminfolks, cause they haz a Y-chromosome and eyeballz) that look at various celebrity photos and rate YEAH, BRAH! or NAH, BRAH! while throwing back a can of mildly-flavored pee Coors Light.  Totes fersh, breh.  And so above we have our first exhibit- Jessica Biel demonstrating nail color and ombre’d hair.  The verdict on nails?  Well Lord bless ’em, the lads say they don’t care!  Sweet relief for us!  “That’s something only girls notice”, dude-breh-number-one says.  Oh, but notice that dude-breh says those nails had BETTER NOT be chipped, lest we be perceived as someone who has a life doesn’t have time to keep her nails perfectly manicured!

And the verdict on ombre’d hair?  A resounding “Hell, no!” from dude-breh-number-two.  His reasoning?  “She looks like she didn’t make it to the salon for a year.”  Right.  Because like the dude-brehs always say, they definitely don’t want a girl who looks like she “tries too hard” or “wears makeup”, but we can’t be having a woman looking like she doesn’t try hard enough either.  MAKES SENSE.  I’m sorry Patrick Bateman, but it’s been hard trying to find that right balance between J. Lo and Jennifer Garner for you, or excuse me, that right balance between CAN’T and CAN’T for you.  If Jessica Biel’s hair looks “un-maintained” to you, look forward to seeing me looking nothing short of BEAT next season when I get mine re-ombre’d.  Consider it my gift to you.

photo (92)

Let’s see, the next victims- Blake Lively with her fishtail braid, short-haired girls, the how-much-makeup question, and a few others.  Of course, that braid is a no from the dude-brehs because “it probably took three hours”.  No, you dum-dum.  It took three minutes because the thing’s probably a bloody extension.  And even if it isn’t (considering Blake is known to have Rapunzel hair), bear this in mind the next time your girlfriend has nice, blown-out, shiny hair that’s left down and casual with soft, “effortless” waves- that probably took three hours.

Oh and take note- NO SHORT HAIR.  DUDE-BREH WILL NOT APPROACH YOU AND OFFER YOU A JAGER BOMB FROM HIS ED HARDY-ADORNED SELF IF YOU’VE GOT THE SHORT HAIRS.  But we are told, quite graciously, “If you look like Halle Berry, then you can go short”.  Oh thanks man!  I mean, I know that Halle spends literally thousands of dollars to maintain her looks each year alone and that if any of us did that you’d immediately judge us for being “too high maintenance”, but it’s a free pass for Halle and all her look-alikes!  Oh wait, there are no Halle look-alikes?  And even Halle doesn’t look like Halle without her Revlon to make her Photo-Ready?  Woops.

photo (90)

Here are a few more.  We’re given the green light for glossy lips because  apparently they say “a girl wants to make out”, and we’re given a thumbs-down on sleek hair with this astute observation- “Bet she’s wearing really uncomfortable shoes”.  But have hope!  Here’s what we’re finally left with as a conclusion:  We’re told in the Editor’s note on the right that “Confidence trumps all, and they want to sleep with you no matter what.  Like what you see in the mirror.”  Oh, I see, so back-track on this entire article because you know it’s the most misogynistic thing you may have ever published in your sorry magazine, but be SURE to validate us in the best, most helpful way possible- by reassuring us that every guy wants to sleep with us just because we’re … girls.

I can’t even begin to delve into the devastating moral and spiritual implications of this article, but I’ll attempt to be brief in my commentary.  Magazines like Self claim to celebrate you as you, and yet they’re fraught with quiet-yet-somehow-explicit suggestions on how to make yourself better, more desirable, more worthy of that celebration.  Some of these suggestions, as in ones pertaining to diet and health in general, are genuinely helpful and sometimes necessary in our lives.  Others, however, are backwards and hypocritical to a degree that has the potential to lay waste to anything helpful a publication may previously have done.  It is frustrating that this article was found in a magazine written for women, and by women, but features like this truly do a disservice to both sexes.  Women are once again subjected to depthless, crude evaluation that leaves them insecure and anxious, and they’re fed the lie that the ultimate compliment a guy could possibly pay you is wanting you physically.  Men, on the other hand, are portrayed as animalistic, thoughtless jackasses that could not care less about the content of one’s character because they’re solely interested in sex.  It’s a bloody shame, it is.

Here’s what I’ll leave you with- Try the weird hair-do.  Put on the red lipstick that may cause a couple guys to say you look like a clown (true story in my life).  Wear no makeup.  Wear too much makeup.  Make “mistakes”.  And extend the same grace to the dude-brehs when they wear too much Tim McGraw cologne, when they’ve got an awful case of the neck-beard, or when they think it’s cool to look like this.  We’ll all keep up with our same weird beauty and grooming habits, and I’ll keep blogging about all of it.  Do this for fun.  Do this because you like it.  And if it bothers you that I don’t like your sock-bun, just do it anyways.  You know you love that hairy donut on top of your head.  Don’t let me take that love from you.  xo, MR

the Makeup stuff., the Review stuff., the Skin stuff.

B.B. creams and my scheme for becoming the Hulk.

, , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I have many dream jobs.  Many dream jobs.  I dream of being a makeup artist to the celebrities (though I hear from Laura Mercier that you have ZERO-POINT-ZERO life when you achieve such a status).  I dream of doing animation voice-overs for cartoons because apparently my impressions of Butters and the oh-long-Johnson cat are impeccable.  I dream of writing for fashion and beauty publications (so feel free to pay me for this any time, or do you pride yourself in robbing the poor and disenfranchised?).  I dream of being a spectacular teacher that is somehow able to incorporate culture and film and art into every lesson on American history.  I dream of being a model because I’m hot for approximately two out of seven days during the week so long as I remember to shower and check my feet for toe jam.  I dream of being a professional restaurant reviewer that literally must only eat the best food your sorry fanny can serve up in a five-star kitchen.  And bring me a side of Takis with that lobster bisque, you lemming!

But most of all … I dream of being paid for the oh-so-miserable task of reviewing makeup products.  And I’m even willing to be a human tester for the unfinished products too so the lab rabbits no longer have to suffer!  Animal testing typically involves a product being placed directly on to an animal’s eyes or skin, and if they go crazy from pain and perhaps break their own necks while struggling to free themselves from the restraint they’re being held in, then the consensus is that the formula probably needs some improvement before showing up at your local drugstore as the latest and greatest liquid foundation to slather all over your face.  Am I making this up?  Nope.  So test unfinished products on my eyes, I say!  Maybe a  faulty new eyeliner formula will turn my eyes violet and I can be Elizabeth Taylor come back from the dead with a search-and-destroy mission on Lindsay Lohan for soiling my good name with Liz & Ick (you read that right).  Or even better, a testing of a bad moisturizer will turn me into the Hulk (the Ed Norton kind).  I’ve always wanted to be able to open tightly-sealed jars of salsa without crying and bruising my fingerbones.  HULK SMASH SALSA JAR!  Or maybe it’ll just turn me into Ed Norton.  Either way, I’ll get more respect and more free meals.

photo (9)

So for the moment, I’ll choose to review a product that’s already passed the rabbit-neck-break test.  Actually, I don’t think the B.B. cream I’ve tried even had a rabbit-neck-break test to begin with because the brand I’ve used says a big fat no to lab rabbits (or as I like to call them, “labbits”)!  That brand would be Boscia, by the way.  It’s a Japanese skincare line that’s a little more on the pricier end of things, but they produce some seriously good stuff.

I first read about B.B. creams (or Beauty Balms, or Blemish Balms) maybe two years ago, I believe in either Vogue or Elle.  The idea sounded fantastic, like the ultimate multifunctional tinted moisturizer.  Their alleged purpose is to provide hydration, conceal imperfections and give natural coverage, firm and even out skin tone, protect from future damage with SPF, and repair existing flaws with ingredients like antioxidants.  It read like a hybrid of makeup and skincare.  They’d originated in Japan and had already started trickling into the United States through brands like Dr. Jart, Boscia, and Dior, and I was interested.  I’m not really into foundation (especially for everyday use), but the idea of something that could provide a light bit of evening-out along with sun protection sounded like a good way to ramp up my routine.

photo (11)

I purchased the Boscia B.B. Cream SPF 27 PA++ (with PA being a superior grade of UVA protection) at Sephora and gave it a shot.  And you know what?  I liked it, and I still use it!  It comes in one self-adjusting shade and it blends extraordinarily well.  I also can’t express enough appreciation for it’s lack of phthalates, parabens, and sulfates (though it still has PEGs and lots of “-cones”). Now, have I tried any other B.B. creams?  Nope?  Do I intend to?  Nope.  I’ve found a high-quality one that I love and, as far as I know, is the most natural one currently on the market counting both drugstore and luxury brands.  And as I’ve explained before, I’d rather pay more for safer, higher-quality ingredients (or at the very least, fewer sketchy ingredients), especially when it comes to face makeup.  So do I recommend this product?  Yes.  Below, I’ve applied a light layer of the B.B. cream.  Pretty even with a decently dewy finish, I’d say.

photo (13)

And there you have it- my one review of the only B.B. cream I’ll probably ever use (and I don’t wear it everyday because I don’t wear makeup everyday), and my plan to give myself up for animal rights so I can become the Hulk or an undead Liz Taylor or a reasonably healthy Ed Norton.  Be at peace now that your day has been nothing short of MADE.  xo, MR

the Fashion stuff., the Hair stuff., the Makeup stuff.

Best of the 2013 Golden Globes … you know you want to.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Disclaimer:  This post is about fashion.  While my aim is to keep this a beauty blog, every once in a while (read: AWARDS SEASON), you’ve gotta talk about the stuff we wear that’s not on our face.  Cool?  Cool.

Confession- I’ve been bored by the red carpet showings these past years.  So few people seem to take real risks these days, but I suppose not every person who shows up on a red carpet does it with the intent of taking a risk and I can understand that.  It’s just what I happen to value the most on such occasions.  As much as I’m into beauty, I’m also into fashion, and I’m not necessarily into it just for the sake of finding something that looks good on me.  I’m into fashion for the sake of fashion, and I love clothes for themselves and not exclusively for how they look on a body.

You know that whole phrase, “You should be wearing the clothes.  The clothes should not be wearing you”?  Well, I’m not always in agreement with that.  Sometimes clothing is about displaying a piece of art or making a statement, and it won’t always be in the form of a sexy, figure-flattering little black dress (and in fact, skin and body-hugging silhouettes are rarely a true necessity).  Sometimes folks might even call what you’re wearing “ugly”, say they don’t “get it”, and not a single guy will find it attractive.  And who cares?  If something is worn with conviction, no matter how “conceptual” it may be, just roll with it and enjoy the clothing for itself.  And this is what I so desire to see on a red carpet … gorgeous styling with immaculate makeup and hair, sure … but to top it off, an incredible dress that stands out on its own.  I’ll probably never walk a red carpet, and so I’ve often thought about how if I ever got the chance to do so, I wouldn’t want to waste any time on something safe.  And come on, it’s a little hard to be impressed by anything after this happening in 2010.  This what I’m talking about.

So, here are my favorites from the 2013 Golden Globes last night.  Some are obvious, some are not.  But I will say that I’m still waiting for a true jaw-dropper, which I haven’t had in a couple years.  I’m crossing my fingers for this awards season!

#1 The obvious answer for “Best Dressed”

X6HPWJXo7ww

From everything I’ve been reading all day, it’s been clear that Jessica Alba was a true winner last night.  Brad Goreski styled her in a coral Oscar de la Renta gown with a jaw-dropping diamond necklace, but the other details of this look were what got me.  The coral-red clutch covered in feathers keeps the whole look young and fun, and her hair and makeup are perfect.  The orange lip is the way to go this spring, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited about it.

#2 The not-so-obvious answer for “Best Dressed”

worst-dressed-golden-globes-2013-marion-cotillard-dior-e1358127843256

This woman does not care about conventions.  At all.  And I love her for it.  And you can definitely tell she’s French, where no one else cares about conventions either.  Marion Cotillard (in Dior Haute Couture) wears what she wants and, as I was previously discussing, clearly loves clothing for what it is (and not simply for how it makes her look).  And the extras, including the grey nails, leopard-print clutch, orange heels, and sleek hair, all add up to something so forward. It’s stuff like this that gets me more excited for Fashion Month next month, and you can kind of tell that she is too.

#3  The one that made me scream, “THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!”

Lucy-Liu-In-Carolina-Herrera-2012-Golden-Globe-Awards

Seriously!  Gowns like this can take cahones, and I’ve got mad respect for those who wear them.  I remember a year or so ago when Sarah Michelle Gellar got trashed for wearing this dress, and man, just because you want to live your whole life in the same ole’ basic black dress doesn’t mean you get to push around the ones who actually take a risk like Lucy Liu and Sarah.  If I’d had access to every dress on Earth for my wedding and I’d felt stronger about stepping away from traditional white gowns, something like this Carolina Herrera gown would’ve been a strong contender.  Not kidding.

#4  These kicked butt, too.

Kerry-Washington-In-Miu-Miu-2013-Golden-Globe-Awards

Rachel-Weisz-In-Louis-Vuitton-2013-Golden-Globe-Awards

Kerry Washington in Miu Miu and Rachel Weisz in Louis Vuitton both had me squealing, as well.  I haven’t been a huge fan of Kerry’s straight hairstyle with the blunt bangs lately, but she still looked beautiful.  And I kind of can’t get enough of glamorous retro waves that give a nod to Veronica Lake, so you know I’m crazy about Rachel’s tresses.

#5  And the one where I might lose you all …

Jessica-Chastain-Golden-Globes-2013-beauty

Now, before you officially drop me as a source of any legitimate information or opinion,  just look at this picture.  Look at the coloring of the dress, that frothy shade of seafoam, and look at her hair.  Look at her makeup and the shade of rose on her lips.  The diamonds on her ears and on the cuff she wore can be taken into account, too.  Now, let me ask you- Is this not divine?  I am convinced that the only thing detracting at all from this look being one of the absolute best of the night is the loose fit on top that by now has been seen and trashed by EVERYONE.  And let’s be clear- Jessica’s bewbs do not need a lift.  It’s the dress that drapes and hangs somewhat low, which gives us the unfortunate illusion of an unflattering fit.  But I will defend this and say that this color is breathtaking on Jessica Chastain, and her hair and makeup are glorious.  The dress has a clear 1930’s silhouette, but it just didn’t work out.  But I don’t mind it!  She looks like an old Hollywood Calvin Klein-wearing mermaid!!

Oh, and who were the worst dressed?  The rest.  The rest were boring.  xo, MR

the Hair stuff., the Makeup stuff., the Me stuff.

Gettin’ all old-timey kinds of purtty. Or, styling myself in a smashing Mojave Desert wedding shoot.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

This is my first post on makeup I’ve done on myself.  Alright, I see that’s somewhat inaccurate.  I should say that this is the first post of makeup I’ve done on myself for a photo shoot (and that’s not many).  It’s easy for me to be overly critical of my own work, and especially work from over a year ago because … I don’t know … something about this year kind of just raised my standards on makeup all around, and it probably has something to do with the fact that I’ve started doing bridal makeup for others and the pressure’s gone from cat-sitting-on-my-chest to elephant-sitting-on-my-chest.  I’m happy to say that I’m still pleased with what I did for my wedding makeup, and I’ll post on that later.

But for this post, I once again invoke the magical name of Bethany Carlson (sorry for the wizard-y phrasing … too much Harry Potter lately).  Nearly a year ago, Bethany developed a concept for a mock wedding that she wanted to shoot, and she asked my husband and I to model for her.  The main point was to shoot in the Nevada desert around 4:00 pm in order to catch the perfect light of the “golden hour”.  The styling of the shoot was something we weren’t entirely sure of to begin with, but we knew we wanted to go for something dramatic if it was possible.  I set out to find some kind of white dress (any kind of wedding-type dress, really) that would hopefully set the tone for the shoot.

Somehow I ended up finding this for the rental cost of $35.00 at a vintage and costume store maybe two miles away from my apartment.  Believe me- I’m flabbergasted, even ’til this day.  One does not simply find an incredible 1970’s gunnysack wedding gown in decent condition for the rental cost of $35.00!

21786345_grCH7j

I’d really wanted to find a dress with character for the shoot, and upon trying it on and realizing that it nearly fit (being a little big in the waist), I figured I probably wouldn’t happen upon such a unique item at this kind of price, with this kind of close fit, ever again.  I was sold (and to actually buy the dress would’ve only cost an extra thirty bucks!).  Bethany was able to go all-out with prop styling once she’d seen the dress, and the shoot’s aesthetic developed into an almost Downton Abbey-inspired look with some antique Western elements happening (and she even had invitations created!).  Now, I know the dress looks all soft and dainty in the photos, but believe me, it was like wearing a couple of tumbleweeds stitched together.  The thing itched like fresh-cut grass on your freshly-shaven shins.  Some of the lace trimming was tearing, it looked more yellow than any kind of ivory in a few spots, and it smelled old.  It also was lacking any lining or slip, so I had to find a flesh-colored cami and pair of dance shorts to wear beneath it (and I wanted you to be able to see through it more or less, because sheer was going to be big for that spring).  But let me tell you, that dress just seemed to come alive in the desert, in that light.  Bethany found gloves, put together a silk bouquet in sync with the color scheme of the desert, and things just happened.

21786345_grCH7j

Hair and makeup were all on my end, and I was more than excited about it.  Now, I have to confess that for my hair, I tried a new technique I’d learned that proved a bit ambitious.  I blew my hair out straight for the most part that morning, and then proceeded to take 1-2 inch sections of it and twirl them up into pin-curls all around my head.  I secured them with bobby pins and light hair spray, with the intention of leaving them in for 45 minutes.  They were in for nearly two hours.  My bad.  So, you may feel that my hair looks a tad wonky from some angles, but I tried to just do my best Janice Dickinson and werk it.  A couple sections of hair just weren’t able to relax much because they’d been pinned for too long, but that goes for most of us anxious people- Stay wound up for too long, and you’ll find that you’re never able to relax again.  But honestly, it didn’t really matter.

21786345_grCH7j

In doing makeup, I learned the real reason why celebrities have a team of artists there for every shoot- That junk’s gotta get reapplied every five minutes for it to even look remotely similar to how it originally looked.  But did I touch up at all once we got going on the shoot?  Nope.  My bad.  That was a major note-to-self:  Despite however much you may have put on to begin with and despite whatever Armageddon-strength primer you use, it will wear off and you’ll need to touch-up.  How can you get your makeup to last all day?  By reapplying it every three hours, that’s how.  And we weren’t dealing with heat or wind or hostile elements of any kind out there.  In fact, it was decently chilly and still as death.  Seriously!  This is where the mob takes you to put you out for a dirt nap!  See those mountains behind me?  Know where that is?  It’s nowhere.

21786345_grCH7j

For my face, I wanted a navy-blue smokey eye with basically just bronzer on the cheeks.  I can barely remember everything I used for this shoot because I kind of flew by the seat of my pants, but I do know I used an awesome deep navy shadow by Urban Decay called Perversion, and for bronzer I tend to use nothing other than NARS’ Laguna.  I didn’t use false lashes (my bad), but there was plenty of MAC Kohl Liner in Smolder.  Yes, I’m lookin’ at you, Glamberace.  And I seriously couldn’t tell you what I did, if anything, to my lips.

21786345_grCH7j

Bethany and her husband literally piled a room full of furniture in and on top of their car for the drive out to our desert spot.  The two of them found and brought along table settings, chairs, DOORS, everything.  Oh, and we were packed in that car too.  I can’t describe what the whole experience felt like other than Wow … we’re doing this? … we’re doing this … we DID this!  It was literally a game of chasing the light and watching it all come together.  It was thrilling.

21786345_grCH7j

I loved everything about this.  Bethany was on her A-game (though I have yet to see a shoot of hers that presents otherwise), I felt proud of my own styling (even if it wasn’t perfectly executed), and my husband was looking all kinds of old-timey handsome.  And look at the prop concept Bethany designed!  Again, I really can’t encourage you enough to take a stare peep at my dear friend’s work, and who knows?  Maybe one day you’ll find yourself all alone in a desert getting shot.  Hopefully it’s just not by someone named something like Toothpick Charlie or Luca Brasi.  xo, MR

All photos in this post are credited to Bethany Carlson Photography.  For more of Bethany’s work and for more of this shoot, visit her site/blog at http://www.bethanycarlson.com.

the Magazine stuff., the Makeup stuff., the Review stuff.

Stop looking at me with your GIANT EYES! Or, a post on the right eyeshadow for your peepers.

, , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I’ve often overlooked the fact that makeup, as a skill for many women, doesn’t come easily.  I mean this not in a condescending way, but what I’m saying is that I take for granted the fact that I’ve been seriously messing around with the stuff since early middle school.  And that I read all of Kevyn Aucoin’s books cover-to-cover as a freshman in high school, and have since read literally countless amounts of information on makeup through blogs, books, and magazines during college and beyond.  I’ll sometimes have friends or acquaintances ask me a question or two on how to apply concealer, or what shade of lipstick they should look for, and in a moment of complete ignorance I’ll think to myself, “They … they don’t already know this?”  Stupid, I know.  I should also probably remember that people are busy with other things besides makeup, and I should be grateful that I’m even thought of as a source of helpful information at all.

One common area of interest that I’ve encountered in many of my friends or acquaintances is the question of what color eyeshadow to use on their eyes. Now, you may have seen those Almay i-intense eyeshadow kits at the drugstore tailored specifically for each eye color, but in my humble opinion I think they suck.  I don’t find them user-friendly (as you have to understand how to apply the three colors for proper contrast, etc.), and I’m totally not into the color combinations offered.  Blue eyeshadow is a tough sell to blue-eyed folks considering they’re typically told from day one to not wear blue eyeshadow, and who wants to be limited to three shades anyhow?  Especially when they’re meant to be worn together?

So, I wanted to share an article with you that I’ve had saved in an issue of People StyleWatch from October of 2007.  It’s a feature on the most flattering shadow shades for every eye color, and you only need to worry about wearing one at a time.  There are even recommendations on specific shadows to buy and try.  It’s by far one of the most useful articles I’ve ever encountered in a magazine.  I realize I save every issue of People StyleWatch (and am running out of places to put them), but I have to encourage you that if you’re ever feeling you lack a certain degree of aptitude regarding makeup, browse through some magazines!  I know you may not find an answer to your particular question immediately, but seriously- get off Pinterest and give print magazines a chance!  This coming February issue of InStyle features a full how-to article on contouring.  Contouring!  That’s some advanced stuff there that even I’ve yet to get a good grip on!  Don’t take the easy way out and Google it.  Go the paper route!  Anyhow, here’s our first page for brown eyes:

photo (76)

As someone who has brown eyes, I have to confess that I’ve loved their neutrality because it’s enabled me to use pretty much any shade of eyeshadow I like.  PSW suggests using champagne and gold, intense greens and purples, and rich, smoky gray for the best results on brown eyes.  These are, indeed, all extremely flattering choices.  However, another great method for figuring out the best shadows to use on your eyes is checking out the color wheel and figuring out what the opposite of your eye color is (identify your eye color on the wheel and your opposite is whatever’s directly across from it).  The opposite hue of your natural eye color is typically a very complimentary choice.  Now, there isn’t exactly an opposite of brown, because it isn’t on the color wheel.  But in most brown eyes there tends to be found quite a bit of yellow, and the opposite of yellow is purple.  So, I often like to add my own recommendation for brown-eyed folks and suggest trying navy or even electric shades of blue, as they’re somewhat near the purple family.  You’ll see these appear later as a good choice for hazel eyes.

photo (72)

Here’s our section for blue eyes.  Now, you may notice the options tend to just range within different shades of brown, but this is because brown tends to have some yellow in it, which contrasts quite well with blue.  Additionally, other colors tend to clash with blue eyes because they aren’t as neutral, but don’t get discouraged.  The article suggests gunmetal gray, golden rose, and pretty much any shade of brown will look great.  Again, most anyone can pull off any color if you consult a professional and find the right shade, but these will be the most flattering options for you.  Additionally, if you’re feeling bold, try a subtle shade of orange shadow as orange is blue’s direct opposite.

photo (70)

I love doing makeup on green eyes because the opposite of green is violet-red, which tends to manifest as purple when it comes to eyeshadow.  I love me a smoky eggplant-hued eye.  PSW suggests golden beige, pale purple and smoky plum, and burgundy for your more dramatic occasions.  There are a number of incredible shades of purple shadow that MAC features, including Sketch and Embark, which is more of a deep brown with plum undertones.  Oh, and note the color suggestion made for everyone on the right- gold.  And yes, I concur that this is true.

photo (74)

I love the options that hazel eyes have.  I’ve often felt that too many people shy away from navy blue shadow (and if you’ve got brown eyes, you should be working it!), so please just know that if you’ve got hazel eyes it’ll look awesome.  Tawny pink (think more of a warm shade as opposed to baby pink), dusty violet, and gray-blue and navy are all suggested for hazel eyes.  If you’re going for a smoky look (and this is the case for most all eye colors), playing around with hues other than black can bring some amazing results.  I’ve been forgoing my common black-brown shadows lately in favor of a deep navy, and I’ve been loving it.

Let me know of any other questions you may have regarding shadow, or any recommendations you may like on a color to purchase.  I’ve got oodles of know-how for you!  And I promise to not snap at you for not doing your own research.  That would be far too Christian Bale of me.  xo, MR

the Hair stuff., the Makeup stuff., the Me stuff.

WORST Beauty Moments of 2012 … or, in which I give cause for everyone to hate me.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Cool your jets.  Yes, I haven’t even said anything yet and I’m already telling you to cool your jets, just in case.

I initially began writing a post on my favorite beauty moments of 2012, but then I thought to my self, “Self, you’ve kind of sprinkled your favorite bits in posts throughout the entire year already.  No one’s shocked to see another shot of Keira or Kate on this blog.  What may be shocking though, self, is what folks discover that you actually don’t like.  And let’s face it, self- we’re always a little more interested at hearing about what bugs the crap out of us as opposed to what we squeal over.”  And admittedly, many of the “worsts” seen here may not be that shocking to some of you at all anymore.  If you read regularly, you know what I like and what I don’t.  But in case some of the following does take you by surprise and you find yourself wanting to set fire to me, let me just preface by saying this: Relax.  This is just me giving my opinion.

#1  Demi Lovato perfectly demonstrating my concept of “overcooked” and my eternal frustration with extensions.

Demi+Lovato+Makeup+Red+Lipstick+-GxvkZrtzudl

Too … much … everything.  I literally want to rip the extensions right out of her scalp.  Or brush them like a crazed maniac until they cease to look like Disney princess wig strands.  And if these are not, in fact, extensions, well, they look like it and that’s still a problem.  And the shape of the hair looks rather like pigtails with a life of their own as opposed to healthy, curled locks.  They’re so perfectly positioned, it’s like someone’s taped them to her blouse.  Just makes me wanna chop ’em.  Chop ’em right off.  And then there’s always the very makeup-looking makeup.  And the nose piercing.  And the tan.  And the door knocker earrings.  And the cleavage.  And you get it.

#2  Julianne Hough doing it wrong.

Premiere Of Warner Bros. Pictures' "Rock Of Ages" - Arrivals

By now you all know that I love me a messy topknot.  I like ’em nice and unflattering, and right there at the top of the head.  So very Je ne sais quois, so very Man Repeller.  However, when you find yourself in a fancy dress at a fancy premiere, it might be time for a touch of effort.  But what gets me about this  particular topknot is that I’ve got a bad feeling that whatever stylist responsible for this (maybe even Julianne herself) tried too hard to not seem like they were trying too hard.  Know what I’m saying?  Like, I get the whole 21st-century irony of going for a messy topknot in a designer gown, but you can still detect the hard work that unfortunately went into this.  You see the pins.  You see the pretty, well-done makeup oddly-yet-intentionally juxtaposed against the haphazard hair.  You see how the knot is so obviously off-center on her head with its plainly uneven shape, almost as if it was planned.  The point of topknots is to not give a damn.  This one, all too clearly, does.

#3  People cut their hairs off.

Miley-Cyrus-Haircut-2-600-400

2012 New York City Ballet Fall Gala

I know, I KNOOOOOW.  But before you get your panties all in a wad, keep this in mind- I am simply very strongly attached to hair with length.  This one is truly more of a personal “worst”, and there’s no expectation to agree that Miley’s or Anne’s or anyone’s pixie cut is bad (and I wasn’t exactly a fan of Miley’s look before anyhow).  In fact, it’s pretty safe to say that these haircuts are quite good.  Anne looks great, and the cut does nothing if not frame her beautiful face and earn her that Oscar that she’s so desperately been jonesing for.  But again, just bear in mind that I’ve got a thing for long hair that you can do stuff with.  It’s just me.  I couldn’t do what Anne did, or I’d at least do it and then shamelessly plop a Kate Beckinsale wig on my head for the next six months to come.  In her own words, “I dreamed a dream of times gone byyyyyy, with lots of hair and lots of braidiiiiiiing …”.

#4  Taylor Swift still looking like Taylor Swift.

mtv emas press room 5 111112

Fine.  Hate me.  Hate me with everything you’ve got, but I don’t care.  It’s time for a change with this one, it is.  And this one looks like nothing if not Disney princesses personified, so you know that’s really saying something when it comes from me.  I applaud Taylor for sticking to her stylistic guns, but you’ll have to forgive me for saying that there’s just not enough excitement for me in her look.  I’m bored.  To tears.  Taylor made the Earth-shattering change of adding red lipstick to her look some years ago, then shocked the world by styling her hair straight instead of with those teenage curly-cues we were so used to!  THEN she cut BANGS!  What WILL she do NEXT?!  I mean, Nicki Minaj must’ve gotten a hold of her or something … BANGS!!!

#5  People pinning airbrushed, Photoshopped, Kim Kardashian-esque eyeshadow looks to their Pinterest boards.

look

Because nothing inspires more confidence in a makeup artist (for brides, no less) than seeing something like this and a caption below reading “PERFECT FOR WEDDING!!!  EXACTLY WHAT I WANT!!!!”.  Yes, you pin looks for the purpose of suggestion, for inspiration.  But bear in mind that the perfection typically exhibited on such images like the one above usually involves Photoshop editing, like that used for photo spreads in magazines.  It takes a steady hand to create this look, along with a steady few clicks of a mouse.  But I will, however, submit that I could recreate this look to the best of my abilities, given all the proper resources.  Just don’t freak out when you see a tiny bit of eyeshadow fall-out on your cheekbone, and relax!  I’ll have these with me!

#6  Speaking of Kim Kardashian …

kim-kardashian-face-contouring-lesson

Yes, Kim.  Thank you for the contouring tips.  But now that we all know that you have to paint A TREE on your face everyday to look the way you normally do as you stomp the pavement with Tracy Jordan Kanye West at your side, I can’t say that we’re all that interested anymore.  Or at least, I’m not.  And that tree on your forehead isn’t including the rest of the clown mask you’ve got going on there.  For the runway, yes.  For the pavement with Tracy Jordan, no.

#7  THIS IS NOT THE FACE OF SNOW WHITE.

snow-white-and-the-huntsman-emo-visions

This … I … I can’t even.  I.  CAN’T. EVEN.  Yes, I know we’re going for the face of the I-pull-myself-up-by-my-own-armored-bootstraps, I-play-in-the-mud-and-I-wield-a-sword-and-I-won’t-be-gender-stereotyped feminist Snow White.  And toward that I have no qualms.  But THIS is not even THAT face.  This face may have remained fixed with this EXACT expression for the entirety of the film (that so sorely disappointed me that I can hardly bear to discuss it).  And in fact, I’m pretty sure we can find this expression on Ms. Stewart’s face  throughout every other film she’s been featured in this side of FOREVER.  But the red lips, the alabaster skin, the hair a shade of raven’s black … I got none of it in Snow White and the Huntsman.  I get that the point wasn’t to Disney-fy Snow White in this case, but the look just wasn’t there.  I don’t know.  Maybe that’s the problem.  Maybe I just don’t know what I want, and maybe it’s not such a problem with the styling as it is with the confession that I just didn’t want her.

#8  Christina Aguilera looking like she rolled around in the MAC stockroom.

NBCUniversal's "The Voice" Press Junket And Cocktail Reception

We’ve already discussed this situation, so I won’t add much.  But the lavender ombre’ really caps it off for me.  It’s subtle, like a garlic sandwich.

#9  Justin Bieber looking prettier than Kate Beckinsale.

Justin-Bieber-AMA-Awards071

Those baby pink lips.  That perfectly smooth skin.  Those fluttery eyelashes.  Those immaculate eyebrows!  That shiny hair with those beautiful diamonds!  No, I’m not talking about a Victoria’s Secret Angel strutting her stuff in the Fantasy Bra on the catwalk, or some girl that George Clooney is seducing in Lake Como.  I’m talking about Justin Bieber.  Yes, this guy, the alleged heartthrob of this current generation of young teenage girls.  Maybe I’m just partial to the scruffy, rugged look, or maybe I’m not being patient and allowing puberty to catch up with ole’ Justin, or MAYBE I’m just NOT cool with the fact that this, *ahem*, young man so clearly spends more time in front of the mirror applying his Creme de la Mer and strawberry-scented Bonne Bell lipgloss than I ever have or ever will.

#10  And lastly, the kicker …

sock-bun-2

Um, ma’am?  Excuse me, ma’am?  You … you’ve got a sock on your head. I know you’ve shaped it into a purty little Cinnabon roll the size of a cabbage with your hair, but … you’ve got a sock on your head.  Oh, but I can’t see the sock?  Well, here’s the problem- I still know it’s there.  And it’s bothering me.  I want to poke it.  I want to poke it bad.  I want to shove my foot in your sock-hairs so I can keep warm in the winter cold.  Oh, you’ve cut a hole in that sock?  Well then lend it to me as a wristband for my awesomely sweaty workout.

Consider sock-buns the Bump-It of 2012.  Every time I saw some girl last year with a conveniently-placed tuft of volume at the top of her head, I so desperately wanted to play Whack-A-Mole and throw down a hammer on that bump just to see if it was some Bump-It impostor or if it was just real hair, teased and sprayed for height.  Same game goes for sock-buns this year.  Should you ever feel some bony finger poking your giant bun on the back of your head, I apologize in advance.  It’s just me being curious.

Welp, there you have it.  I’ve got a feeling I’ll be cranking out a “Best of” list sometime soon in order to make up for this one, but in the meantime, enjoy.  And you be sure to let me know if you’re feeling particularly enraged by any of the aforementioned.  I’ll send you a complimentary sock in the mail.  xo, MR

the Makeup stuff., the Me stuff.

The talented magician and the beautiful girl that the magician saws in half.

, , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

I shall be raving about *two* people that I love on this particular post.  Let me begin by saying this:  It takes two components to create a good magic show.  First, you must have a talented and crafty magician.  And second, you must have a beautiful girl that the magician impresses his or her audience with, an assistant of sorts that the magician then magically saws in half (or something like that) that causes everyone to gasp and say their “Oohs!” and “Aahs!”.  Both are essential for a great magic show.  I’ll also admit that I got to play a little part in this show, too- I got to be the makeup wizard for the beautiful girl that gets sawed in half.  I would’ve been glad to simply have been the rabbit that gets pulled out of a hat for this one, so needless to say, I was quite thrilled with my role.

For this particular magic show, let me first introduce you to the beautiful girl that gets sawed in half.

Ali_Michael_Engagement-77

This is Ali.  It’s Alison, really, but everyone calls her Ali and she is beautiful.  I’ve known her for a while now, and for as long as I have known her she and Mike have been together.  These two are awesome, to say the least.  Their engagement is one that a lot of folks have been excited for, and needless to say I was ecstatic when Ali asked me to be one of her bridesmaids next summer.  In addition to this though, I shall also have the honor of being Ali’s makeup artist for her big day.  Double stoked.

Ali_Michael_Engagement-34

Ali and Mike had their engagement shoot in early December at Disneyland on a Friday morning, and I was initially so bummed because I already knew I’d be teaching that morning so I’d have no chance to do her makeup.  But then it dawned on me- Ali lives right by the school I was booked for, and I was going to have a free hour in the earlier part of the school day, so why not do her makeup beforehand at the school?!  Let me tell you, it’s a little awkward doing someone’s makeup in a teacher’s lounge as teachers pass you by and whisper, “Maybe it’s Maybelline!”, but hey, I was asking for it.  And it was worth it.  And there’s nothing better to give me energy before teaching high-schoolers than doing makeup for a friend!

Ali_Michael_Engagement-55

I went for a more dramatic eye on Ali (because let’s face it- those eyes are too much fun) using L’Oreal’s eyeshadow that I talked about here, and we did some false lashes too because she’d never done them before!  And of course, falsies are great for photos because they ensure that your eyes will not be ignored (Dan!).  I used my trusty neon-hued NARS blush in Exhibit A to also help Ali’s cheekers not go unnoticed, too.  And Ali and I are both huge fans of BareMinerals Original SPF15 Foundation, so we naturally stuck to it.  And check out Mike!  Ain’t he a regular ole’ Captain America?!

Ali_Michael_Engagement-88

Ok, now let me introduce you to the talented magician behind this magic show.

480933_418659204835550_1812699740_n

This is the lovely face behind Mike and Ali’s amazing Disneyland shoot- Bethany Carlson.  I had the privilege of having Bethany as one of my own bridesmaids, and there are few individuals I know so personally that are so deeply talented.  Seriously, I mean it when I call Bethany a magician.  I’ll be posting in a bit on a bridal shoot she did of my husband and I (I’ll give you two hints- Downton Abbey and Mojave desert), but all I can really do now is encourage, no, implore you to check out her site here for some of what I’d shamelessly call the most stunning wedding and engagement photography you’ll ever see in your life.  All Bethany seems to see through her lens is romance and beauty, and some of her work from this past year is nothing short of breathtaking.  I also have to briefly toot my own horn and say that I had the pleasure of doing Bethany’s hair and makeup for this particular shot, which is credited to Damaris Mia (and I so wish I could credit you more, Damaris!  Please send me a link if you have your own blog so I can share it!).

I can hardly wait to be part of Ali’s wedding next year, whether it’s by helping her into her dress, applying those finicky false lashes, or being photographed alongside her by Bethany!  xo, MR

All of the shots in this post are credited to Bethany Carlson Photography, except for the shot of Bethany which is credited to Damaris Mia.  For more of Bethany’s work (and in case you were silly and didn’t follow the previous link), check out her site at http://www.bethanycarlson.com.  The girl does not disappoint.

P.S. Oh, and if any of you caught the Fatal Attraction reference in the middle of this post, a million points for you.